and went to the hanford market it last night

oh, the freshly popped kettle corn.

i had missed that.

it was strange to go back.

Evan was 20 months or so the last time we went.

***

the boys are out of shape with the modeling.

no chatting while snapping, Ian.

***

decoded

where? hanford

when? last night

how? All four with Fuji – first two with 35 mm, last two with 18mm

what?  kettle corn!

why do i love it?  just a nice little memory and a chance to wipe the dust off my camera.

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***

decoded

where? home

when? yesterday afternoon

how?  Fuji X-pro 1, ISO640, 35mm, f/1.4, 1/500 sec

what? my good little model

why do i love it?  i love the two dimensional feel that i created with editing.  Sometimes camera’s make things feel too real.  real is boring.

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just because i feel like it

it is kinda cool

***

decoded

where?  Old Stuttgart

when?  November 2009

how?  D3, ISO 1250, 24mm, f/2.8, 1/1000 sec

yes, i know.  funky exposure.  nice balance there, paula…..  whatever.

what? an adorable 7 year old boy

why do i love it?  i love the 2 dimensional feel of the editing in this image.

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feeling a rut right now

so baby step

just one

that is all i can do

gotta leave my old spot

***

decoded

where?  my old apartment

when?  after I’d already moved out

how?  my d3, ISO 640, 24mm, f/2.8, 1/100 sec

what? this is where I would have been sitting to type this – had i not moved

why do I love it?  I am so glad I made this picture.  this picture is what little I have left to remember my amazing flat and wonderful view

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I have heard word

that one of my images

has been selected as one of 45

to hang in the

2012 Michael H. Kellicutt International Photo Show entitled ‘Vibrant’

in Half Moon Bay, California

starting this coming July.

***

my image, Forgotten

which I will display as an image transfer

***

decoded

where? Bad Canstatter Fruelingsfest, Stuttgart Germany

when?  April 25, 2010

how? D3, with my handy lensbaby, ISO 100, 1/5000 sec

what?  The big bad ‘Sky Ride’!  My boys were riding it at the time.

Why do I love it?  I see this image from my own point of view – standing at the bottom, left out of the ride, watching everyone else have fun.  Motion sickness has me sit out of all rides like this.  But I also feel that way when I think of my friends still in Germany going to Fruelingsfest, as this year’s fest is currently in full swing.  How wonderful and ironic that this image was selected at this particular moment.  Must be some sort of cosmic energy.  Of course, who is to say that I can’t find a way to have my own party?  I merely celebrated the fest mit dirndl und hofbrau right here with a backyard party this past Saturday in Lemoore.  And, on this particular day, I dealt with my sad by taking a photo that I would one day sell to a girl with fabulous fashion sense, but would also hang in show outside San Francisco two years later.

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stand?  or walk?

go? or be?

which is it?

it can’t be both at the same time.

oh wait.

walk on the left side

stand on the right side.

i could use more specific directions like this,

bitte.

now tell me if I am right or left?

if someone could just tell me what to do

it would a lot easier.

then again, i probably wouldn’t listen.

i’d still have to do it my own way.

***

decoded

Where?  Marienplatz Ubahn station, Stuttgart

When? October 2011

How? D3, ISO 200, 24mm, f/2.8, 1/800 sec

What?  Riding back up to ground level after taking the U bahn street car from Vaihingen.

Why do I love it?  I love the lines and tone.  And, I love the mixed messages that are confusing at first glance, but make perfect sense when put in a cultural context.

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being gifted

can feel rather empty

***

decoded

where?  Zurich

when? eons ago

how? with my D3

what? a funky bike

why do i love it?  i don’t feel like talking about it.

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how are we going to make it work?

moving overseas is hard

far more hard that it seems

there are the obvious details

starting over

meeting new friends

waiting for household goods to arrive

transitioning life

style

budget

sadness to leave

knowing we will likely never return

but other stress exists

for instance

i have been living in my house

with all my shipments

for 4 months

we have been unpacked.

i was careful, so careful

very organized

methodical

yet i cannot find anything.

it gets old.

i remember exactly where it was

in germany.

can’t find it in lemoore.

but everything shifts.

how we raise our son even changes.

what are his new rules

guidelines

what was unheard of before

changes

because we are in new surroundings.

my position in his life

night and day

compared to 6 months ago.

perhaps that happens to all parents.

but not this swiftly.

i scramble to pull together all my loose ends

but lose his in the process.

the more i figure out

the more i am confused

and it starts to unravel

i don’t do well with a lot of details

i only write a phrase at a time

so

too many details overwhelm me

and i get lost

so does he – this boy i am trying to set straight.

how can i do it all???

what is it for?

is it even possible?

i don’t even know what IT is???

still waiting for all the pieces to fall.

***

decoded

Where? Stuttgart – our old flat

When? Oct 27, 2012

How? You can see my D3 in the mirror!  ISO 2000, 70mm, f/2.8, 1/250 sec.

What? the empty shell of the place we had to leave.  My husband and I sad to move to the next chapter.

Why do I love it?  What a rush of emotion.  I can remember exactly how I felt this day.  And, it was not good.  What an amazing room.  What an amazing view.

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we talk cameras

and lenses

and metering

and white balance

and mm’s.

not the little candies.

perhaps we should snack next time she is over?

i forgot to offer even a drink?

i get wrapped up in chatting and forget to be a hostess.

anyhow

this is kind of a funny reminder

of a difference in point of view

***

decoded

where? my old flat overlooking the lower part of the Stuttgart valley

when? oh sigh.  after we had moved out.  Oct 10 and 27.  For the middle shot, we were waiting for a slacker US Army civilian employee to pick up the shranks.  all day.  and he never showed.  The first and third shot were me testing and comparing my lenses with the teleconverter on the 70-200.  We were days from packers…

how? both D3 from opposite extremes, taken in the same spot (give or take a couple of feet)

picture 1: ISO 200, 340 mm (I used my 70-200mm VR II with a 1.7 teleconverter), f/4.8, 1/400 sec

picture 2: ISO 200, 34 mm (I used the 24-70mm – the middle lens, not even my super wide), f/2.8, 1/250 sec

picture 3: ISO 200, 14mm (I used my prized lens at the widest it goes), f/2.8, 1/400 sec

what?  the gorgeous catholic cathedral a block from our flat.  gosh, I really miss the bells.

why do I love it?  explanation not necessary.  the comparison of perspective is fabulous as is/was the view.  what one can accept as normal………..  not appreciated unless new or lost……..

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on the other side of the glass

how to access it

nurture it

grow it?

video game junk food

distracts

it feels like it is slipping away

trash culture

breeds

addiction

***

decoded

where?  Zurich

when? last october

how? D3, ISO 800, 70mm, f/2.8, 1/160 sec

what? a music store in the heart of the pedestrian shopping area

why do I love it?  it feels like a view of the most amazing yet overlooked violin ever to be created.  On the inside of the store, its back it turned and the people pass, overlooking what it has to offer.  From the outside, its dark wood and beautiful face are instantly recognizable, yet unreachable and unattainable.  Perhaps the right person will see it on the street and find a way to access it.  Sometimes all it takes is the right mentor at the right time.

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