Monthly Archives: May 2013

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***motherhood***

i don’t normally share this picture publicly

it is not exactly ‘my good side’

it was just after i met my baby the first time

he was three days old

i was in my room

in a trauma center in fresno

he had finally been released from the clinic where he was born

45 minutes away

i know

i am not very recognizable

i am a bit of a mess

but i was so happy to meet him

my one and only

i try to overlook the water weight

from all that saline

and the pounds of baby fat

from a lot of skittles

and the creepy lock coming out of my neck

from being poked too many times

i think i told someone recently

that i didn’t have an IV any longer

by this point in the ordeal

funny

i didn’t notice the crap hanging out of my body

my pain threshold thru the roof

sidestepped the drug haze

i really hated Percocet

the pain of lots of surgery

i would rather face the pain

than deal with the weird dreams and strange spaciness

i wanted to comprehend what i had endured

to save my life

but it was too soon

by five years

it seems so surreal now

like a dream

i think being half blind adds to the mystique

when you can’t see a darn thing before or after surgery

it really does just seem so airy

the memories are so hazy

even when you are wide awake

i knew the ambulance driver

was my neighbor……..

twice…..

yet i had never met him.

how?

my observations are hard to comprehend

but just see the joy in my face

finally

meeting my baby

***

happy mothers day

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never assume because someone has one kid

or no kids

it is by choice.

ever

***velvet texture***

_PRB8897