Monthly Archives: May 2013

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i don’t normally share this picture publicly

it is not exactly ‘my good side’

it was just after i met my baby the first time

he was three days old

i was in my room

in a trauma center in fresno

he had finally been released from the clinic where he was born

45 minutes away

i know

i am not very recognizable

i am a bit of a mess

but i was so happy to meet him

my one and only

i try to overlook the water weight

from all that saline

and the pounds of baby fat

from a lot of skittles

and the creepy lock coming out of my neck

from being poked too many times

i think i told someone recently

that i didn’t have an IV any longer

by this point in the ordeal


i didn’t notice the crap hanging out of my body

my pain threshold thru the roof

sidestepped the drug haze

i really hated Percocet

the pain of lots of surgery

i would rather face the pain

than deal with the weird dreams and strange spaciness

i wanted to comprehend what i had endured

to save my life

but it was too soon

by five years

it seems so surreal now

like a dream

i think being half blind adds to the mystique

when you can’t see a darn thing before or after surgery

it really does just seem so airy

the memories are so hazy

even when you are wide awake

i knew the ambulance driver

was my neighbor……..


yet i had never met him.


my observations are hard to comprehend

but just see the joy in my face


meeting my baby


happy mothers day


never assume because someone has one kid

or no kids

it is by choice.


***velvet texture***