me. 6 words by 7 lines.

i don't believe in coincidences. ever.

i will make the world better

experience is the ultimate education. go.

gravity's pull is a brilliant force.

beauty surrounds me. i create it.

nothing in life is ever concrete

being understood is overrated. don't wait.

***midlife crisis: overwhelming barriers***

Midlife Crisis: Overwhelming Barriers

i’m here

i am ready to go

but this overwhelming barrier

stands between me and where i want to be

i don’t have the tools in my bag

didn’t realize all i was missing

during these 20 years

and suddenly i stand

paused

_PRB3877-Edit-2 copy

***series: midlife crisis***

I started a new series of images

focusing on my struggle

“midlife crisis”

for 19 years i have given my life over

to follow and support

my path deeply changed

as a result

***

with handcuffs on my opportunities

I managed to find my happiness

in fits and starts

***

there is an aspect to being in the shadows

that becomes rather

comfortable

but when the shroud is removed

the shackles unlocked

it can be rather overwhelming

as walking into bright snow-covered daylight

is blinding

when emerging from cabin fever

suddenly

the excuses are gone

the rolodex is permanently reshuffled

but all the cards are blank

 i no longer know where

to place

my thoughts

***

who am i?

what do i do?

I am new in the area

have no connection or leads

i don’t know how to create

a resume that could possibly detail my potential

but

what is my potential?

***

i might suggest

that i have a greater understanding

of the term

mid-life crisis

_PRB3724-Edit copy _PRB3730-Edit copy _PRB3750-Edit copy _PRB3754-Edit copy _PRB3756-Edit copy _PRB3762-Edit copy _PRB3763-Edit copy _PRB3773-Edit copy _PRB3775-Edit copy _PRB3779-Edit copy

***daily visual gratitude***

I moved

I live in the best city in the country

welcome to San Diego

I don’t think I will ever want to leave

It still takes me quite a while to get up and running

after such disruption

but I am back

***

so here is a scene from San Diego

zen misty air

flowing to my head

it slowly wipes away my fog

_PRB3786-Edit copy

***daily visual gratitude***


Tuesday

continuing the exploration of the color blue

i will consider the sky

Right now

our views are quite different

i walk outside and look down

and see grass and cement

you see water

i look around and see houses

you see metal and pipes

my long hall has a handful of doors

you have an nearly endless hall of oval passages

i go to the kitchen to cook dinner

for two

and not three

you eat a dinner made for thousands

i hear the din of engines from afar

my sleep interrupted by the sound of birds at 4 am

for you, birds are jets

but it is the catapult and dragging tail hooks

that interrupt your sleep

it feels a world apart

and yet

what we share

is greater than all of that combined

all i have to do to remind me that you are not far

is to go out to my patio

sit on my chair with my feet up

change my perspective

and look to the

sky over the valley

and know it is not that far from where you are

somewhere in the middle

and where we want to be

_PRB1628 copy

_PRB7657 copy

 _PRB7543

_PRB4683

***fish bowl***

on a lighter note

i will share that Pucci has also been considering the fish bowl today

swimming in the deep sea

she is the jelly fish

please follow the latest with my alterRR ego

_PRB1025-Edit-2

***daily visual gratitude***

Monday

a focus on the color blue

today i consider life at the aquarium

in the fishbowl

always in perpetual motion

alongside cloned figured

rushing rushing

trying to get somewhere

***

predators among the docile

masses with blinders following

manipulations of the sociopathic types

simplistically explained

behaviors rendered neutral

***

no rest from the lens of the observers

taking a momentary snapshot

bringing it home

to share with others

tales of that one little slice

of realism through distorted glass

water-displaced and flat depictions

removing the depth of reality

and layers of perspective

into a simple sound bite

to be devoured

_PRB0180 _PRB0227_PRB0200 copy_PRB0196

***daily visual gratitude***

Friday

i can only speak for me when i say this

however, i doubt many would disagree

when the storm is looming

when the barometric pressure changes

but the dark clouds just sit

as a visual reminder

that a goodbye is on the horizon

it is a relief when the rain finally starts

i have compared the looming torture of the deployment storm

to owing a bad debt

the day after saying goodbye

when the raw sting begins to dull

relief comes

as the payments begin

the day counter can finally start

_PR35150

***daily visual gratitude***

sinking

here we go

the Earth is sucking us in

our house

sinking into to core

askew

can’t stop the gravity

waiting

wishing it wouldn’t happen

knowing better

_PR32294

 

***daily visual gratitude***

Monday

it is just hanging

the dark cloud

i don’t want it to rain

but i don’t want to sit in the dark

that looms

***

deep breath

minute by minute

there is a little glimmer

of light

a little cool breeze

keep my head down

keep going

_PR32210

***daily visual gratitude***

Saturday

I can feel the storm brewing

from my kitchen counter.

The pressure has changed since last week.

i am going to close my eyes

and remember what it is like

to have a sense of peace

with an oncoming storm.

I will try to ignore

the dread.

Try.

Knowing the loneliness is on the horizon

in a matter of days

destroys comfort.

it makes everything inside of me

slower,

heavier,

sadder.

weekends alone taunt my heart

challenge my internal calendar.

Friday is the day when the pack is dropped.

Friday makes Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday

Livable.

But not when Friday becomes a reminder of

isolation

while in a crowd of hundreds

the calendar has removed

my dependable motivating force.

Today is Saturday.

I am supposed to enjoy today.

But the oncoming storm

triggers many memories

i cannot erase.

I don’t have thoughts of Friday

to give me strength

only a run-on  phrase

pauses that indicate different days

The period

has been omitted

from my keyboard

My life in limbo

for several months

waiting for the sentence to finally end .

_PR33109

***daily visual gratitude***

Friday

WARNING

this image is very graphic!

I love the simplicity of graphic print work.

I think this image represents that style.

It is interesting that I am considering that

almost three years after I captured it.

I know exactly why it appealed to me.

The simple and bold signs

juxtaposed with the old French building.

The bright blue sky.

But the little detail that most would miss

is Space Invader

the famous graffiti artist whose work can be found around Europe

left his mark just a couple meters up.

_PR30726

***daily visual gratitude***

Wednesday

Wait.

No, it’s Thursday.

clearly I am using the term ‘daily’

rather loosely.

As much as I try to fight it

distraction is my enemy.

It knocks me off course

and so here I am treading water

and trying to get back to smooth sailing.

Being married to a man in the military

is not good for my ADHD artistic personality.

I struggle to find my way

back onto my little self-inflicted path

and each bump makes me more and more angry

that I have to regroup for as many days as I was interrupted.

I should be used to interruption by now.

I am not.

_PR30680

***daily visual gratitude***

an American cemetery

in Luxembourg

honoring soldiers fallen during WWII

5076

most of whom died during the Battle of the Bulge

***

_PR34426

the sky is blue

the clouds keep moving

but the shadow remains

forever and always

of 5076 souls

and for the many more

who lost their beloved

_PR34422

***behind the scenes***

outtakes

with Pucci

_PRB9623

_PRB9637

***balancing act***

this

is certainly

a balancing act

_PRB9614

WordPress Loves AJAX